I Dreamed Bandits Joined Our Forces and Launched Terror on Nigeria

In my dream, bandits underwent reintegration into the army, navy, air force and police. Politicians applauded this move, and President Tinubu called it a step in the right direction. But things went horribly wrong. The bandits gained access to local and foreign rockets. They deployed large drones and assembled an army of one million fighters. Rockets struck Abuja, Lagos, and key federal assets, including the Aso Rock villa. The bandit drones bombed military formations mercilessly. Many soldiers dropped their rifles and fled, feeling betrayed. A former bandit soldier carried an IED into a gathering with the president and senior APC members. The blast destroyed Tinubu’s left arm and Akpabio’s right leg. The Aso Rock villa and surrounding infrastructure were reduced to rubble. The horror was so intense that the president had to escape. He apologized for his failures and blamed the former government. Then I woke up. It was only a dream.

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