I Was Called Well-Behaved, But I Was Really Afraid to Speak

Growing up in a Nigerian home, I was taught that children should be seen and not heard. Speaking up was called disrespect. Explaining myself was seen as stubbornness. Over time, I learned to stay quiet, apologise even when I was not wrong, and hide my feelings just to avoid more shouting or punishment. As an adult, I now see the cost of that silence. I struggle to express myself, set boundaries and defend my opinions when people speak harshly to me. People may call it good character, but sometimes a quiet child is not simply disciplined. Sometimes, that child is scared, ashamed or convinced that their voice does not matter. Children need correction, boundaries and guidance. But there is a difference between discipline and crushing a child's confidence. Parents and teachers can teach respect without insults, humiliation, fear or making children feel worthless for asking questions. I do not hate my parents, and I understand they may have repeated what they experienced themselves. Still, survival does not mean the experience was harmless. We should ask more than whether children respect us. We should also ask whether they feel safe enough to speak, make mistakes and be themselves.

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