Are You in Love With the Person or the Future They Promise?

Sometimes, people are not in love with the person they are dating. They are in love with the life they imagine that person will provide. A man may see a beautiful, respectful woman and immediately picture a peaceful home, favourite meals and children. A woman may see a successful doctor or businessman and picture financial security, comfort and social respect. Both may be sincere, yet neither may truly know the person behind the qualities they admire. Problems begin when reality does not match the fantasy. A partner may have ambitions, opinions, financial limits, family obligations and expectations that were never considered during courtship. Love becomes difficult when someone expects a spouse to fulfil a role they never agreed to play. Before marriage, it helps to discuss money, children, careers, family responsibilities and domestic expectations honestly. Are we accepting the person as they are, or are we hoping they will become the person we imagined?

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