I Thought Saying No to My Family Meant Betraying My Late Twin—Then My Daughter Set Boundaries

At 52, Ufuoma says she spent decades supporting her relatives after her twin sister died. She believed refusing to help would mean breaking a promise to her sister. The cost was steep: her businesses failed, and her daughter often went without while other family members depended on her. After finishing university and NYSC, Ufuoma’s 26-year-old daughter challenged the family’s dependence. She set a timeline for the adults living in their home to find work, contribute to expenses and eventually move out. Some relatives resisted, but two have already left and others are working towards supporting themselves. Ufuoma says she now wants to focus on her career and build a life beyond providing for everyone. Her advice to other eldest daughters is to set boundaries before helping turns into a burden that prevents others from standing on their own.

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