My Dad Married My Late Mum’s Sister, and Now I’m Afraid to Ask Questions About Her

My biological mum died in 2010 when I was six. Her sister, who had moved in to care for my brother and me, later married my dad. She has raised us with love and has been a mother to us in every practical sense. As I grew older, I began asking questions about my biological mum. During an internship in Lagos, relatives shared stories about her life and told me why my dad’s family moved from Lagos to Ekiti after he married her sister. I also learnt that many of my mum’s belongings, including her books and diaries, were burnt. My dad and Mummy Kemi become upset whenever I try to discuss my mum. My brother thinks I should let it go because of all our aunt has done for us. But I feel I deserve to know who my biological mum was and to honour her memory, especially as her memorial approaches. I love my aunt, but I feel hurt by how my mum has been erased from our home. How can I learn about my late mum without causing more conflict in the family?

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