Marriage, Loyalty and the Cost of Neglect During Your Best Years

One troubling thing about some people is their refusal to be honest about the choices that damaged their marriages. They may ignore years of neglect, infidelity or disrespect, then act surprised when their spouse finally leaves. I believe in standing by a partner through sickness, financial hardship and difficult seasons. But loyalty cannot be demanded from someone who was repeatedly hurt, neglected or treated as an option during the good years. Marriage is meant to be a partnership, not a situation where one person enjoys the benefits while the other carries all the sacrifice. I told my husband that how I treat him in a difficult moment will be shaped by how he treats me while life is good. If he gives his time, affection and resources to other women, he should not expect me to become his automatic caregiver when hardship comes. This principle should apply to both men and women. If you want someone beside you at your weakest, value, respect and protect them when you are at your strongest.

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