Nine Nigerians Share How Their Parents’ Fear of “What Will People Say?” Hurt Them

Many Nigerian parents feel pressure to protect the family’s image and avoid criticism from relatives, neighbours, friends and religious communities. But for some children, that pressure has meant being shamed, ignored or forced into difficult situations. Nine Nigerians recount painful experiences of parents who prioritised public opinion over their children’s wellbeing. Their stories include public humiliation over clothing, neglect of basic needs while outsiders are generously supported, being made to care for an abusive relative, and pressure to maintain false appearances. Others describe being silenced after abuse, forced to apologise to relatives who wronged them, pressured to attend church to preserve a pastor’s reputation, or made to live up to career expectations they did not choose. The accounts show the lasting emotional cost of putting appearances before family care.

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