Tony Elumelu and the Debate Over Respect, Titles and Boundaries

The exchange involving Tony Elumelu and a woman who addressed him by his first name has sparked debate about respect in Nigerian society. I believe she chose the wrong time and setting to call him “Tony.” Younger people should understand that respect matters, especially in formal spaces and when speaking to elders or public figures. However, demanding respect too aggressively can be counterproductive. It is possible to correct someone calmly by asking them to use “Sir Tony” or another appropriate title, without insulting their upbringing. Respect is not proven only by titles such as Sir, Oga, Chief, Doctor, Apostle or Bishop. The real test is how people treat you, although it is also important to recognise when familiarity is being used deliberately to mock someone.

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