When Silence in Marriage Hurts: Understanding and Healing Dismissive Avoidance

Night after night, Hassan stood by the window while Amina pleaded to talk about their dwindling savings. He offered only a shrug and a calm that felt like walls closing in. She wasn’t angry. She was tired and scared. Psychologists call this pattern dismissive avoidance. It starts early, when emotions seem unsafe. In adulthood, it looks like indifference. But for distant partners, silence is a survival tactic, not a lack of love. Left unchecked, one person bears the emotional load. Conversations stall. Needs go unspoken. The relationship drifts. Couples can heal this. Pause tense talks and promise to revisit them later. Practice small moments of honesty each day. Speak from your own feelings, not accusations. Real closeness means staying in the room, one honest conversation at a time.

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