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T.D. Jakes: Teaching Men to Hide Their Feelings Has a Cost

T.D. Jakes: Teaching Men to Hide Their Feelings Has a Cost

Bishop T.D. Jakes says many boys are raised to suppress emotion through messages such as “be a man,” “hold it in” and “take it like a man.” He argues that society later expects those same men to speak openly about their struggles, despite years of conditioning them to remain silent. According to him, this contradiction can leave men carrying emotional burdens alone and may contribute to personal and health challenges. Drawing from his marriage, Jakes also said lasting relationships do not require partners to be alike. He encouraged couples to value complementary traits, noting that calmness, steadiness and stability can bring balance to a marriage.

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M
mel

How can families teach boys resilience without making them feel that sadness, fear, or struggle must stay hidden?

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E
emeka

I agree. Boys need room to name what they feel, while learning healthy ways to handle difficult moments.

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J
jayjay

The contradiction is clear: boys hear "hold it in" for years, then adults wonder why honest conversations feel difficult later.

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B
bola

Maybe, but teaching emotional control is not automatically the same as teaching men to suppress everything.

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J
julia

Emotional openness matters, but "be a man" is not always meant as silencing; the real issue may be how it is taught and enforced.

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H
hala

Parents can start with simple check-ins, name emotions without ridicule, and show boys that asking for support is part of handling life.

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