Why We Charge a ‘Bride Price’ for Submission and Ignore True Fatherhood

Many Nigerians use “father” by blood, not presence. A true “dad” earns the name through small daily acts. Yet at weddings we bill the groom for years of training and correction. This culture trains daughters to obey and endure. Sons learn authority, often enforced by force. Research links harsh discipline to sexual violence, transactional sex and psychological distress in young Nigerians. Our laws protect adult couples, forbid forced consent and criminalise domestic violence. Yet families ignore these statutes at introduction ceremonies. They demand obedience to tradition, not to the constitution or child protection acts. Claiming tribal humility is a contradiction. True humility means no self-assigned rank. Announcing “we are humble” instantly becomes a way to look down on others.

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